so ermmm....i almost didn't watch this because of the negative reviews when it first came out. took me more than three years to give it a try because i felt like watching a melodrama.

note: before you continue reading my review, please keep in mind that i'm not writing based on the drama's accuracy to the novel, the censorships or its backstory with the drama between the two male leads and their fanbase. this review will just be based on my enjoyment of the series itself and the way the story has been told on the screen. most of what i want to say about this drama has been described by darkn3ss' review, but i will add on with some other things from my pov.

what i got away from the story: let go when you can let go. life will feel merrier if you don't make yourself stuck in the past.

let's start off by talking about liang sheng's character, who was supposedly the male lead (but this was then switched to wallace chung's character, cheng tian you). liang sheng loves his sister and cares for her deeply, and this love extended into something bigger after he finds out that they are not biological siblings. i agree with darkn3ss that ma tianyu didn't do this character justice, which is a pity because it could've been such a beautiful and bittersweet character to connect with. but ma tianyu just looked stoned and depressed throughout the entire drama (more depressed than jiang sheng), so as a viewer, i couldn't really resonate with his character and his actions —as much as i love him as an actor.

while his love for jiang sheng was admirable because of how loyal he is and how caring he is at heart, his weakness in the love he has for jiang sheng is his overprotectiveness. from the beginning of the drama to the ending, other than becoming a successful businessman, he didn't have much of a character growth that i was hoping to see from him. such as to understand that the world is big, he doesn't have to make himself stuck in one place and keep reminiscing about the past to make himself suffer. although in the end, he chooses to leave jiang sheng, we still got hints that he is unwilling to fully let go of the romantic love that he has for jiang sheng, even though he forces himself to only think of her as a sister. this aspect of his character makes me happy that the writer decided to root for jiang sheng and cheng tian you to be an item instead because if she were to end up with liang sheng, i cannot see her living a happy life even though he will be able to offer her a comfortable life (and also the fact that she only ever regarded him as a brother and nothing more).

on the other hand, while the writers turned cheng tian you's character into a more 'idol-like' man (compared to the one in the novel), i like that at least his character still feels more humane than liang sheng. perhaps it might be wallace's superb acting, as always, but cheng tian you's character has growth, making it easier for viewers like myself to understand why he acts the way he acts and thinks the way he thinks. we see this from the time he meets jiang sheng, to the day they begin dating, facing the miscarriage, reuniting again, and then accepting each other's flaws. there are layers of emotions that make his character relatable even though he might seem unreasonable sometimes...and maybe you will want to punch the screen at times because of his stupidity, but this is dramaland, what can we say? i like the way the writers created for him to be a man who can be impacted by/try to reflect outsiders' views, thinks for others, and not just be blind-sided by his own feelings and emotions. it feels more realistic this way compared to liang sheng, who seems to just care about his and jiang sheng's world, which to me is selfish and possessive. i also like that cheng tian you was able to accept and embrace jiang sheng's insecurities instead of finding ways to erase it, which was what liang sheng was trying to do.

i especially like the contrast between the separate times jiang sheng got to spend with liang sheng and then with cheng tian you. we get to see what the two men can respectively offer her in life and love. for example, most of her time with liang sheng, the two just reminisce about their childhood and talk about how they missed those times. as a viewer, i got the sense that they can't seem to move forward to create a happier future. it just seemed more like they were trying to live for the sake of living.

whereas with cheng tian you, jiang sheng seems more firm about what she wants, has a goal in life, and finds a vision of what she wants her future to look like. with cheng tian you, jiang sheng's life seems to have a purpose —like there's a meaning to life. i like the scene where they temporarily moved to an island after their marriage. they lived a simple life together and were very content and happy with that life. if we swap cheng tian you and liang sheng for that specific scenario, jiang sheng would definitely not be as happy or content. and like what darkn3ss has pointed out, jiang sheng was able to be more independent when she is with cheng tian you, while liang sheng was always holding her back with his plans for her even though he kept on saying he wanted her to do what she likes.

i've read a few comments saying how they like jiang sheng's strong personality in the beginning, but then she just started to become weak and that became unbearable for them to continue the drama. i disagree. you need to keep in mind that she was diagnosed with depression and depression can make one's mentality weak, so it makes sense that her character can be frustrating to please people. all jiang sheng had in her life were her three family members and (few) friends, and one by one they become busy with their own life or pass away, it's understandable that she feels she has lost a shoulder to lean on and thus becomes insecure. this is also what makes cheng tian you so much more likable than liang sheng because he was able to offer her hope for better love and the family life that she has yearned for all those years. i'm not a big fan of sun yi, but this is probably one of her most nuanced performances to date, alongside seige in fog.

if you want to watch this drama, i recommend walking into it with an open mind and don't let the negative reviews affect you. also don't let your mind go into a battle against who is more fitting to be a male lead because this will affect the way you judge the characters. think of it as watching a long family drama that has a bit of a depressing tone, where everyone is a main character.

some people might feel daunting because of the long episodes. but i personally liked the pace of the drama since i was able to take my time to absorb the emotions delivered by the characters and story.

my only complaint about the drama is the multiple accidents and hospital scenes. it felt like 45% of the drama was dedicated to the characters getting hospitalised after encountering accidents or falling ill... honestly, i think we should feel relief that this is a chinese drama because the dramatic-ness of the story has been toned down to make it bearable for viewers. if this was a thai drama, there would've been an explosion from the angst, lmao —and i would probably be pulling my hair most of the time from frustration and anger :')

shoutout to alan yu's character, cheng tian'en. his character was a jerk since the beginning, but i grew to like him and can understand why he behaved the way he did. i'm glad he was able to discover himself again and move on to understand how one can truly obtain happiness. perhaps liang sheng's character could've learnt from him a little because my heart ached for liang sheng's ending (which i felt like he was just trying to run away from his own problems and was unwilling to talk about them with anyone). in fact, most of the characters were able to have their own closure, except for liang sheng...sighhh...

overall, not a bad series. i've seen worst...