This one hurt

I have watched over 200+ BLs, (not sexualizing them AT ALL) and I’m a very sensitive person so when they get a bad ending it hurts me so very much, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt pain like this over a show. I don’t know if it was over the fact that they were so beautiful together and they were so happy together or over the fact that they were so young and had to go through all of that just so they could be a happy couple with Eijis fathers approval, Eijis dad easily ruined Eiji, Makki and Meikos lives. He didn’t intend to, but he did. What hurt me the most over the whole entire show was how Makki felt over the whole situation. He loved Eiji so much that he was willing to have his whole life change just to be able to be with Eiji happily, the hurt he felt when he thought he noticed Eiji caring for Meiko more than him or falling in love with her. The pain he felt was unbearable, seeing the one you love most falling in love with your best friend, and then finding out the baby isn’t yours so that gives them yet another reason to be happier together than to have you in their life. I think I understand Makki in a different way, I can’t say I fully relate to him but Makki felt unwanted and unloved by his own boyfriend and best friend. All he could do to make the pain go away, was run. He didn’t want to and you could tell, he didn’t want to leave Eiji or Meiko, but he felt they were better without him. Now, the ending, I didn’t really understand why they put the old classmate into the story, I think that Makki and Eiji could’ve found love without each other once more again, they were still in love after all, I think that Eiji as his character would have definitely gone after Makki because the love Eiji had for Makki was like no other. He would’ve ran to hug Makki the second he walked out the door, if not, he would’ve called him maybe some minutes later, he wouldn’t have just let him up and leave. He knew better than to let Makki leave with all that pain in him. Them not getting back together at the end was just heartbreaking, they deserved no one but each other, they were perfect together. They were what everyone would call soulmates. Maybe in another life, or maybe they already had their happy ending in their past life. They were meant to be. The second Makki and Eiji seen each other again after maybe 5 years you could see it in their eyes that they still loved each other, you could see it all there. When I seen Eiji being left alone in the apartment I knew he was gonna break down thinking of Makki and their 3 years together. You could also tell that Makki still loved Eiji when he laid in bed with his classmate, he asked Makki if he still loved Eiji and he stayed quiet and responded with “I never wanted to see his face again and now I want to meet his child” he never answered his question. I’m sorry this was so long, this show hurt me like no other has ever done so.

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