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Navigating the Pitfalls of Love and Sex
One of the age-old questions is put front and center: Is love sex? Or is sex love? People might be surprised at the answer. Sex is not love, as Kenichi puts it. However, sex is/can be an expression of love. This is where Kenichi and his wife Kumiko run into trouble.
It is clear that Kenichi and Kumiko both love each other. However, they have a difficult time adjusting to the fact that they cannot have conventional sex. Now, it can be dangerous to view this series with the eyes of a westerner. You have to understand something about Japanese culture. I'm not saying you will agree with it, but you will understand why Kumiko and Kenichi do not handle the problem in the same way that others might.
Japanese people are among the sweetest people I have ever known, but they also tend to have one glaring issue (one that even they admit to!): they are never very direct in their communication. There are even some wonderful, and even funny, youtube videos posted by Japanese people who address this.
Kumiko is an extremely shy young woman, who never really speaks up about anything. She keeps her problems and dislikes bottled up within her. It doesn't help that she has a domineering mother who is clearly ashamed of her. Remember that "shame" is not something that Japanese people take lightly. Western viewers are likely to show frustration and say, "Why doesn't she go and see a doctor? Why doesn't she talk about it with her husband?" Again, it's the culture, for better or worse. And, I daresay, there are those around the world who take issue with some of our cultural ideas too! I should know as I was a Peace Corps volunteer for four years and have also lived and worked in five different countries as well!
The bottom line that is addressed in this series is a failure to communicate. This is a universal problem in marriage and relationships, not just an Asian one. And we see the damage that is done by not talking things out. Both Kenichi and Kumiko attempt to avoid the issue by finding solace in other people. As we know, avoidance and denial never make a problem go away. If anything, it exacerbates it, which is one of the things this series addresses.
The series is very well done, with exceptional performances from Aoi Nakamura (Kenichi) and Natsumi Ishibashi (Kumiko). They give us a couple that clearly love each other but are unable to figure out how to address the issue of not having sex.
What is sad is that intimacy is a necessary ingredient for a happy marriage. And intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sex. There are many ways for a couple to BE with each other. There are ways to make it work, and my only issue with the series is that there really isn't much mentioned about how a couple can be intimate without sex.
Marriages don't fail because of a lack of sex. They fail due to a lack of love, communication, and intimacy. This series does a pretty credible job of addressing this, especially in the "communication" department!
It is clear that Kenichi and Kumiko both love each other. However, they have a difficult time adjusting to the fact that they cannot have conventional sex. Now, it can be dangerous to view this series with the eyes of a westerner. You have to understand something about Japanese culture. I'm not saying you will agree with it, but you will understand why Kumiko and Kenichi do not handle the problem in the same way that others might.
Japanese people are among the sweetest people I have ever known, but they also tend to have one glaring issue (one that even they admit to!): they are never very direct in their communication. There are even some wonderful, and even funny, youtube videos posted by Japanese people who address this.
Kumiko is an extremely shy young woman, who never really speaks up about anything. She keeps her problems and dislikes bottled up within her. It doesn't help that she has a domineering mother who is clearly ashamed of her. Remember that "shame" is not something that Japanese people take lightly. Western viewers are likely to show frustration and say, "Why doesn't she go and see a doctor? Why doesn't she talk about it with her husband?" Again, it's the culture, for better or worse. And, I daresay, there are those around the world who take issue with some of our cultural ideas too! I should know as I was a Peace Corps volunteer for four years and have also lived and worked in five different countries as well!
The bottom line that is addressed in this series is a failure to communicate. This is a universal problem in marriage and relationships, not just an Asian one. And we see the damage that is done by not talking things out. Both Kenichi and Kumiko attempt to avoid the issue by finding solace in other people. As we know, avoidance and denial never make a problem go away. If anything, it exacerbates it, which is one of the things this series addresses.
The series is very well done, with exceptional performances from Aoi Nakamura (Kenichi) and Natsumi Ishibashi (Kumiko). They give us a couple that clearly love each other but are unable to figure out how to address the issue of not having sex.
What is sad is that intimacy is a necessary ingredient for a happy marriage. And intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sex. There are many ways for a couple to BE with each other. There are ways to make it work, and my only issue with the series is that there really isn't much mentioned about how a couple can be intimate without sex.
Marriages don't fail because of a lack of sex. They fail due to a lack of love, communication, and intimacy. This series does a pretty credible job of addressing this, especially in the "communication" department!
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