This is the school of life.

Before going with my review I woul like to talk about some complaints I read. First this drama is tagged as Life, and the reason is because it focused on life experience. For example, in real life, no one can choose their parents. They are who they are—educated or not, rich or poor, bad-tempered or not. But they are never all saints or all bad people. With no prior preparation, they have to raise children from 0 to 20 years and sometimes beyond. They have to be strong when we are hurt, cheerful when we are sad, wise whenever we are mad and understanding when we are confused. We also ask for unconditional love. It is only when we grow up that we realize the level of sacrifice it takes to raise children. They have to sacrifice their own dreams to nourish ours.

The majority of parents only want the best for their children and sometimes project their own hopes, desires, ambitions, and even fears onto them. They may try to control their children, believing it’s the only way to protect them. There’s no school to learn how to be parents. They can only draw from their own experiences and often improvise along the way. This drama is a must-watch for anyone who wants to become a better parent or child.

The show presents two models of children shaped by different background. The FL is patient, understanding, and solution-oriented but comes from a poor, uneducated family with a strong sense of morality. The father is a working class laborer with no other ambition than the happiness of the family. The FL is aware of her parents' sacrifices and limitations and strives to make them proud. In contrast, the ML comes from a broken family. Abandoned by everyone, he is self-made, intelligent, proud, and emotionally distant. Years of neglect and betrayal have left him incapable of trusting others. Instead of fostering relationships, he uses people to achieve his goals.

Some viewers complain about the FL's mother being overbearing and having too much screen time, but I believe this is intentional. It contrasts with the ML's invisible, absent parents, emphasizing the importance of presence in a child's life. The story highlights two distinct personalities shaped by their family dynamics: a compact, wharming family led by an overbearing mother who cares obsessively for her children, and a disjointed, invisible family with absentee parents.

Besides these two bigs models, we can also see in the show the fathers who totally spoiled the kids, the mother who sent her daughter abroad because she has no time for her, the divorced mother trying to keep up with his kid. A little panel showing here the complexity of our modern society. But here there's no judgment. There's no good nor bad. But it's a little strange to see for example while some tries to keep the mother out of their life, other wishes her mother could save some time to spend with her. That's it the complexity of relationships in our modern society.

Another important thing I notice trough much feedbacks I read, is a lot of complaints for the lack of romance in the story. On the contrary for me this is A lovely romance drama, but tell to us from the perspective of an older generation (The writer of the novel from which the drama is adapted is Yi Shu. She is already 78 and she is also the author of Tale of Rose novel). So this is a romance drama inside and between families. Because for the older generation marriage implies the committment of two families. And this commitment will bring all the communication, the trust, and the sincerity for relationship to flourish between the bride and the groom.

Nowadays this model is considered archaic and we can see there is a generational gap between the writer and the viewers. But think again about it. Why there is so much trouble in marriage nowadays? Why this high level of divorce? Why so much trouble for husband and wife to find time for themselves. And parents to spend time for children because of reduce family model, lonely and busy life style and no implication of elders whom are pushed away to retirement houses. And of a matter of fact, there is a grandma who lives in retirement home in the drama because she has no family left but a grandson who is very busy and has no attachments to family. I think the writer thinks the ancient model of relationships where the parents are implicated in our life is still viable, but it demands a lot of courage and constant communication to overcome the generational gap.

Let's talk about the story. For me, the common thread of the show is the word Presence. The presence of a parental figure to identify with and emulate.

I believe the FL is not so different from her mother. She is just as stubborn and thrifty, but she shares her mother's sense of sacrifice, devotion, and duty. On the other hand, the ML is self-centered, manipulative, and bossy, with no trust in others. Due to the absence of a paternal figure, combined with humiliation and betrayal, he doesn't understand the dynamics of family or relationships. To achieve success, he relies on authority and treats people as tools, rather than collaborators.

The writer does an excellent job of portraying the complexities of family dynamics. Is the mother a bad person? A bad mother? People are never as simple as they are often portrayed in fiction. We tend to imagine the world through simple archetypes of heroes and villains, but reality is far more complex. People are a mix of strengths and flaws. This idea is the base of the FL's family; a meddling housewife mother, a hard working but caring father, a supporting sensible brother striving for a living

We are creatures of habit and everyone of us bring the sequels of bad experiences. The mother's character may not be the usual perfect mother we all crave to see in drama. But she is depicted as a normal human who bears traumas from childhood, who belittled herself, lacks confidence but sacrifices her dreams in order to make a better future for her children. Moreover she is aware of her flaws and wishes she could change. But change is one of the hardest things for humans to achieve, and we often underestimate the time it takes.

The drama is also about her struggle in becoming a better mother, her dedication and commitment to be always present for her children despite the mistakes she continuously makes. For her parenting is a lifetime job and doesn’t come with a retirement plan. Even when her children grow up, she will still impose her choices on them. I think it’s natural because it's the way she was taught when she was young. In this story, the mother only wants what’s best for her daughter, and there’s no problem with that. The conflict arises because of the mother's gap and traditional education. This is her own flaw but as we say no one is perfect. The FL, being a filial daughter, would like to please her mother at first, but will eventually chooses to confront her because the consequences of a bad marriage will fall solely on her.

From my personal experience, I’ve learned that as we grow, we progressively make our own decisions when faced with challenges our parents never encountered. The mother in the drama has never dealt with such a greedy, manipulative family and doesn’t realize how much stress her daughter is under. The generational gap between mother and daughter can explain the misunderstanding.

For me, this is the true lesson of the story. The education our parents provide is merely a guideline. Once we grow up, we face our own struggles due to changes in our environment, workplace, and society. We must make our own choices—sometimes against the wishes of our parents, family, or friends, because they may not or cannot understand. The FL’s ex-boyfriend fails to grasp this, or perhaps lacks the courage to make the right decision. And later, in the drama lasts episodes we will finally understand why the FL's mother greed so much for a successful life is because of the regrets she accumulates in her life for not choosing the path of achieving her dream to become an opera singer.

If I had to summarize this drama in three themes, they would be: Presence, Independence, and Family.

Presence: the debut focuses on the family interaction, the mold from which our personalities emerge.

Independence: when we begin to construct our freedom, learn to make our own decisions, and bear their consequences.

Family: when we realize no one is an island. No matter how strong or independent we are, there will be times when we need support, praise, someone to lean on, a presence that makes all the hard work and achievements of our life worthwhile. And we finally understand the most important signification of family.

The final goal of our struggle in life is the family. Without the family anything has no sense. The true struggle is about making their life better or having someone to accompany us when we are old. Look at the distress of the ML who always says he has no father. We doesn't need words to understand how he feels lost when he suddenly realizes this time the father will never come back again. Too much time waste for past grudges when the father was eager to change. Now he is dead.

The message which is told through the show focus on remember us that the key to maintain good family relationships is communication. Through sincere communication with the heart we reinforce the trust, the love that are mandatory for the family to exist. The family itself that is crucial to maintain Love, Happiness, Health. It's is a virtuous circle. I think myself this drama is a real love story.

Sure, they are some annoying characters not necessary at all for the development of the story. However the majority of cdrama have the same problem. The nosy and omniscient friends of ML and FL with the sole purpose of filling the time screen. The second leads romance not really convincing. But nevertheless for me this drama was educational, entertaining, and inspiring, with a dazzling performance by Yang Zi and excellent delivery by Xu Kai. The FL's mother in fact is really convincing in her role of traditional mother. But she is not toxic at all, simply out of phase. And her problem is not so difficult to resolve. A little joke to conclude. How to deal with a nosy energetic housewife whose children are grownup and keep meddling because she has nothing to do? Give her some grandchildren...

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