To My Harry (2024)

An easy binge, mind the cringe

I have some issues with this drama but overall I was entertained, engaged in the story and found some parts of it to be kind of refreshing as this may be the first drama that shows Dissociative Identity Disorder, that I actually managed to finish.

Things I appreciate:
Mental illness as part of a persons life, not so much stigma focus on treatment and the parts that work.
Found family and friendship.
Pain and suffering,
The female characters
The other male leads
Dimples
Smiles
Scenery

Things that made me role my eyes and lower the score:

Cringe,
Monologs
Deuett like speeches
Use of slow motion
The male leads plotline...

Unnecessary twists towards the end

But overall an easy binge, that almost managed to water my eyes

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Disappointed to say the least

It’s undoubtedly the worst drama I have ever encountered. It could’ve been an opportunity for writers to give viewers insight on how to overcome a toxic 8+ year relationship. Being able to start anew and somehow meet someone who truly loves you. I’m truly disappointed that she went back to someone who dismissed her so easily as if nothing had ever happened. Not to mention the writers didn’t show Eun-ho work through her mental illness. Super toxic. The one star goes to Shin Hye-sun because she is an incredible actress. Her performance was 10+ stars. It’s too bad that this drama will be a stain for her. Btw, this is the first time I ever leave a one star rating.

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refund my time

yeah no i couldn't take it anymore. tried finishing but i just can't. anymore of this and I would have started hating the actors.

script fraud - that's what this drama is. like even SHS' acting in the last two episodes irritated me. now that's an achievement, one I thought was impossible. i guess even she gave up by the end.

sure, I thought the writing went down entirely at episode 10 but 11 & 12 crossed the exceptionally awful barrier. it's like they replaced the writer entirely lol. i even wondered if they shot the drama backwards because even the characters felt different suddenly!

what a waste of time, acting, investment, great direction and cinematography. started very promising ended up being the worst drama i have ever watched. not a single redeeming quality.

god shs is usually my favourite actress, last two episodes kinda ruined a bit of that for me sadly. eunho changed from a character i felt sympathy and was rooting for to a character whose slightest of gestures became irritable in the last two. what a switch up. imagine rooting for the main character to be happy and successful only to have all of it feel so unearned and forced and feeling incredulous almost disgusted. they even changed the genre at the end lol.

easiest cure for DID in the world. what use is extensive therapies and treatments when all you need is a man who didn't share anything with you for 12 years, and a toxic extremely co dependent relationship. where a month of isolation in the cabin and a kiss when he didn't even search for her until then heals everything.

the dumb ones are us, the viewers.

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This is not a love story.

Episode 1 starts with that ominous statement and it's true. If you watch this drama thinking that it's a love story, you're likely to be very disappointed. However, if you remove your love story glasses and replace them with "dissociation" glasses, this story is so rich and insightful. It's like a treasure trove.

While Eun Ho is the only one with the official diagnosis, the majority of characters in this story are actually displaying some kind of splintering. Eun Ho's splintering seems to come from a wound related specifically to isolation. Losing her parents at an early age and not trusting the grandmother who took her and her sister in seemed to plant early seeds of fear regarding a lack of social safety net. It's why she seriously overreacts to the possibility that Hye Ri will be isolated if she doesn't push herself to attend the school trip. She's transferring her own fear onto her younger sister instead of recognizing that her sister has a completely different threshold for social needs. The loss of her sister and grandmother is bad enough, but when the man she's imagined sharing her life with walks away without any warning, it's enough to push her into a crisis caused by the full realization of her worst fears. So she creates a second self, another character in the story of her life. By doing this she finds partial escape from the crushing burden she feels and simultaneously alleviates the guilt she carries in regards to the part she played in her sister's disappearance.

Kang Ju Yeon has completely dissociated into his second self when Hye Ri meets him. He has put to death all of his own plans and desires to step into the life he believes his brother would have lived. He's empty and miserable and angry because of it. His first few interactions with Hye Ri showcase glimpses of the resentment and anger just below the surface. But then she says something life changing. She's glad he's alive. And the part of him that he had buried with his brother begins to awaken. And he's lovely. The viewer can't help but want happiness for him. Kang Hoon does a fantastic job of conveying the appeal of the character he plays. For the first time since his brother's death, Ju Yeon allows his real self to want something and it's Hye Ri. Because she's the only thing he's allowed his true self to want, his desire for her is out of proportion to the time they've spent together or the relationship they've built. But she's his best proof that he's still alive. He's willing to leave his entire life for her, because he sees her as a gateway back into his true self.

Hyeon O is leading two completely separate lives. At work and in his past relationship with Eun Ho he's the golden boy, handsome, talented, on the rise. At home, he's a boy who was abandoned by his mother and raised by social outcasts and outlaws. The reason he can't marry Eun Ho is that he can't bear any crossover between his two worlds. If that happened, the people who admire him would know that deep down, he's really that abandoned, unloved little boy with a strange family that can't help him keep up the pretense he's created. He has deep, deep shame and it causes him to lash out cruelly when anyone gets too close to seeing that side of him, even blaming Eun Ho as the source of his embarrassment. Shame always points the finger outwards to distract from the inward wound. He also can't perceive Eun Ho's pain and splintering because of his own. His cruelty in the story is difficult to stomach, and it's understandable that viewers make a villain of him, however, all of his behavior makes sense (not to be read as is excusable) within the context of shame and dissociation.

Ji On may be the only whole character in the story and he serves as a kind of interpreter for Hyeon O, helping him to perceive and understand Eun Ho's behavior and motives.

Hye Yeon is also splintered, divorcing sex from genuine relationship on the one hand and pursuing a man who has no interest in her on the other. Je Yeon's statement that a person only has one heart is both a warning to her and to himself. He can't grow his brother's heart inside his chest to help him want the life his brother might have lived. He only has his own heart. She can't give away slivers of her heart to men who don't cherish them and retain wholeness at the same time.

All of this is set in an industry where people are expected to develop an on air persona separate from their own personality. Eun Ho's disgrace at work happens when her true reactions and personality bleed through into that on air persona. No one has an issue with her having multiple personalities. Her coworkers only cared that she kept the lines between them iron clad. Like Hyeon O. Jeon Jae Yong is another example of a strange kind of splintered personality, where he's a total goofball when he's not behind a camera, but a surprisingly capable anchor in front of it.

We still have two episodes to go, so we'll see how the writers wrap things up. Overall, this story has been fantastic, and the lighting, sound effects, music, and dreamy atmospheric tone all create a sense that the story itself is reflecting the characters urge to splinter in moments of pain and humiliation.

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A drama that had potential but they ruined it.

I think that to portray an TID disorder you have to be very informed about the subject but here everything was a disaster and it shows that they had no idea about mental health in general.

Ju Eun Ho suffers a break in his psyche after breaking up with his long-term boyfriend. Since she couldn't face this trauma, Hyeri's personality is generated, which is completely up to her (in this sense I love Hyeri's personality more than Jun Eun Ho).

The problem is that who caused her his own trauma is who she decides to stay with and return to. Which doesn't make sense if this was trying to be a self-improvement drama. Because Jung Hyeon O is a bastard, simple as that. She only thinks about him and not about the damage he caused her. She had to let go of that great and toxic emotional dependence she had on him, but in the end she ends up making the same mistake as the past. She didn't learn anything, in short.

Yeon Kang Ju had his things, for example when he finds out the truth he keeps calling her Hyeri although it is understandable because she is the person he fell in love with and met. He is even much better in all aspects than Jung Hyeon O. He was not a selfish person at all and I think he was right to be her peer so that she can heal. Unfortunately this did not happen, but it is shown that he is a great man when he says goodbye to her, wishing her to stay healthy and be happy with whoever she wants. Really a round of applause for this man.

I obviously like Yeon, but in my particular case, I would have preferred for her to be alone, for her to realize that she doesn't need anyone to be happy. That you should not get so attached to people, not repeat the same patterns over and over again and be successful on your own. That would have been true personal improvement but really the scriptwriters made a mess and didn't even know much about the subject. I think for them it was an experimental drama that ended in disaster.

The couples that worked with mental health problems, like kill me heal me and It's Okay, That's Love, were because their partners were psychiatrists and they perfectly understood their partners' situation and were a great support for them to overcome their problems but here none of them were prepared. That's why I say it would have been better for her to stay alone and heal herself. And not return to the person who caused your trauma.

Not even with good performances, this can be solved. The script is a disaster no matter how you look at it.

I thought the worst drama I had ever seen was Love Alarm, but the writers really made a lot of effort to overcome it. One of the worst dramas I've seen in my life.

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What more could be said.......A LOT

The writer absolutley knows nothing about mental health issues.The FL's character was misinformation personified, and was astonishing given the Genre and Tags for Dear Hyeri.

The writer absolutley knows nothing about Narcissism, which is also a mental health disorder. Or maybe she does, and it's why she wrote......

The ML as a Narcissist who follows the standard narcissist handbook. The character is the most vile of ANY dramas MLs I've ever watched.

The writer for Dear Hyeri, apparently, believes a woman's happiness revolves around a man to give them the only healing they need. Psychiatry sessions were a filler and weren't needed.

The writer abandoned, not only the title of her drama, but the real Hye Ri, the D.I.D. personality Hye Ri, and Ju Eun Ho too. Not to mention, the relationship between the D.I.D. personality Hye Ri and the SML. Nothing was resolved in these areas. The last Ep gave the customary hit 'n miss to each character.

The writer expected the viewers to not remember info in earlier episodes were rewritten in later episodes, as if we were stupid.

The writer waited too long to include the ML and FL's initial 'relationship' from their first meeting to them living together. The man had red flags blowing for any viewer to see, from the beginning. There was more than one interlude before they cohabitated. The 1st being 4 months after, then the 2nd being 6 months; 10 months total of manipulation by the ML.

The writer EXPECTED the viewers to not remember why the ML broke off an 8 year cohabitation with a simple "Goodbye".

The writer EXPECTED the viewers to not remember the ML was the cause of the FL developing D.I.D. Yes, she had family issues that contributed, but the ML was the driver.

The writer EXPECTED viewers to be believe her gaslighting in ALL of the mid episodes forward. There were too many scenes to list them here.

The writer couldn't use the largest salvage vessel in the world for her drama after Ep 6/7.

And yes, I'm outraged the writer's script was such a blatant misrepresentation of what a good, or even great, relationship truly is between a man and woman. It's no wonder why young women and men are floundering. The thought that even 1 woman would see this as something to strive for hurts my brain, and my heart.

I thought a few other dramas which were released this year (2024) were pretty bad, but Dear Hyeri's writing surpassed ALL poorly written dramas in the last few years.

Casting was too heavy. With a convoluted storyline, too much emphasis was placed on characters that didn't add anything, such as the grannies and the office workers. Maybe that's why a few characters kinda sorta disappeared with no word of why.

The cinematography, the direction, the acting, and the OST were good. The storyline itself could have been great in another writer's hands. Or I would like to believe it could.

My 1 rating overall is for Shin Hye Sun ONLY. The Acting/Cast 9 rating was for Shun Hye Sun ONLY. She carried the drama. Her acting was impeccable, as usual.

The majority of viewers apparently have never encountered a Narcissist who is the complete opposite of a normal human being, nor have any idea what co-dependency actually means. A true Narcissist is not common among normal people (even if it's becoming less so nowadays).

Finally, I wouldn't recommend this for even the real Narcissists that I've had a personal relationship with. They do tend to pick up new tactics from any source.

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Confusión, Toxicity & Disappointment

I’m actually flabbergasted at the direction this story took.
I’m just in shock. FL is dealing with so much and has no self respect nor esteem.
ML is an ass**** who doesn’t deserve her
FL shouldn’t have shaken up the SML world like that if she was going to just leave him.
SML became dependent on FL in such a short space of time because she was nice to him?
Then she chooses to be with the ass**** who thought she wasn’t worth telling the truth to and wasted 8 or12 years of her life with
What exactly is the moral of the story here? Beca we’re both in pain I’m going to let you ruin my life? What an outstanding revelation. I’m definitely not finishing this hogwash.

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Lost it's charm half way through

I was so excited about this because I love the two leads specially HS, sadly it wasn't that great and struggled to not drop it.

Acting :
Ihave to be fair and say that acting-wise it was good, HS was spectacular, the only thing I couldn't stomach was the way Heyri was speaking, it's like a 3 YO child still I understand that it's the way she chose to go with the character so I didn't mind much, and while I like KH I couldn't see anything "in his eyes" the anger or calmness or whatever that he has to show was lost on me, I was only able to see one facial expression all the way, he just can't act with his eyes.
So aside from that I liked the rest of the actors even the annoying ones.

Story:
I don't know what was going on, and not that I didn't understand the story but midway it was all over the place, the way they showed she was not a serious case of DID then bam! She was cured just like that, I hardly could see her taking any meds nor was I convinced by the psychiatrist she was seeing and their conversations felt ridiculous.
Also I couldn't follow through the time, some days I'd be confused like shouldn't they be at work now or whatever? Are they allowed to take so much days off? Specially the days that HO had to stay with EH I and she sleeps for over 13 hours for like 3 days continuously.
Aside from lacking logic big deal, the story got very boring, the more you watch the more you get less excited to finish it, pity it was good at the beginning.

Overall not really bad, what I didn't like was personal preference, some can just not see the things I didn't like or can be easily ignored, yet I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless you have patience and don't care much about logic ~

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Are we entering the era of AI scripts?

I am very conflicted, lost and angry about this series.
I was hooked from the first episode. The story was promising, the characters seemed interesting and complex. We started of with seemingly clingy and annoying FL and capable and loving ML. Throughout the next episodes we come to know more about each character, we let them into our hearts, they become three-dimensional with their traumas and reasonings. Eun Ho with Hye Ri grows on us, we start to like them. At the same time, we begin to see and understand problems with Hyeon O.

However.

Instead of the story focusing and staying on Eun Ho / Hye Ri (the DID, the trauma of loosing everyone she ever loved - parents, sister, grandmother; the problem of not having any friends, any hobbies, etc.), it swerves. It skims through uninteresting, unnecessary side characters, it brazenly shifts and fixes on Hyeon O's story, His history, His reasonings, His trauma. More we learn about him, more despicable he becomes in our eyes, to the point where we start to think - "oh, this is not a Romance romance, Eun Ho will actually overcome her pain and hurdles on her own. Wow, such idea! Such power to the FL! Finally!"

Then comes the 10th episode, then 11th, then 12th.

We are then left wondering, what happened to Eun Ho's mental problems? Where, how did they disappear? Why are we forced to witness a doomed relationship, based on manipulations and codependency? Why make your ML so unlikeable, so despicable and still force your FL to love and stay in a relationship with him?
Does the writer hate women?
Is the writer even human?

Oh. Ohh... Oohhhh.......

This might actually be the beginning of a new era. An era where viewers will be left wondering, whether the script was written by a human, with human emotions or just an AI. When, in the story, the emotions are not emoting, the plot is not plotting and characters are not fully themselves. Everything in the story is dreamlike, and on the other side of their screens teenage viewers are raving about the depth of the story (which is as shallow as a dried puddle); the constipated romantics are hallucinating the romance of the ages (which is as toxic as the site of Chernobyl in May, 1986).

I am angry and sad that I invested my time, my emotions in a story that has gone nowhere, that there were no real healing in a story about traumas and mental problems. I am extremely angry that creators in 2024 are still trying to romanticise and sell abusive, manipulative men just because they have mommy issues.

"Dear Hyeri" did us all dirty, because it had platinum grade potential, extraordinary cinematography, enchanting musical scores, it promised us the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, instead delivering "the holograms of Blade Runner" from TEMU. And yes, I do think that from episode 9 the script, if not fully, then partially was written by an AI.

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I want my hours back

I saw that I had my favorite actress and I ended up getting interested in the plot because it's the first time I've seen a drama talk about DlD.

I kind of knew the story would go down a path I wouldn't like, but it was worse than I thought. The plot was supposed to be about Eunho and Hyeri, but it was more about the HO than about Hyeri herself, and that bothers me. I think they should have shown more about Hyeri and her dependence on Eunho; it was very superficial.

I don't think it had to be about a novel that drama; they focused a lot on who Eunho would stay, instead of focusing on her own health.
I don't like HO. He broke up with Eunho, but spent four years bothering her, doing things she didn't ask for. He always made things about him, and the fact that he didn't care about her health, and the fact that she was going to stay with him, shows that he's toxic. They stayed eight years, but he didn't even think about introducing Eunho to his own family.

I know Jun Yeon isn't the most amazing person either; he made mistakes, and it wasn't a few, but I felt sorry for him. I've been through what he's been through. My grandmother had cancer, and I know what it's like to see someone dying to the point of not even recognizing you. I cried in most of his shit. I know how scary it is to think that at any moment that person will disappear.

He had a great dependence on Hyeri and he wanted someone by his side urgently, and out of nowhere Hyeri appeared. She made the day, which was dull, interesting. When you're at the bottom of the well, it's like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; it's the light he's been looking for. That's why he clung so much to this false illusion of love and fell in love with a part of Eunho. I'm not flirting with the things he did and told Eunho, but in a way I understand him.

I hated that you made it clear that he's staying with the woman who works with him. He never liked her, and now he cares about her feelings?

Eunho was wrong to come back with the HO and I feel like every time she changed her identity it was because of the HO; it was all about him, and it pisses me off. She should have focused on herself and stayed away from him. The relationship will never work until she stops having emotional dependence. If he thinks about breaking up with her, maybe Hyeri will come back.

The way he treated her, even in the beginning, is ridiculous. They'd set up a meeting and the guy comes back after six months without a single explanation, like nothing happened, and she forgives him? Really? He treated her like she was nothing for the last four years, made a lot of messes, lied, and she forgives him? He never thought about how she'd feel every time he gave her work, about how people would talk, because, like it or not, he was her fucking ex. He didn't think about her feelings and her confused signs. The way he blamed her for worrying about her is so toxic, manipulative and narcissistic.


Don't waste your time watching this here.

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