Love in the Big City (2024)

A Journey Too Late

This was originally 2 different comments I made on the message board that I have slightly reformatted to make a review. I get it lacks some of my normal wordsmithing and is brief, but it gets the job done easily enough.

Watched entirely in 1 sitting starting at realease time to around 6:30 am in the morning in my neck of the woods. I wont go too in depth here.

So let's quickly breeze over the strengths.

Great acting, good intimacy, some strong chemistry, appropriate realistic skinship, 3 dimensional characters, some real-world struggles, heartbreaking moments, and adorably cute moments. Directing was strong, cinematography solid, texture and feel to the series was complete and both realistic yet simutaneously dreamlike. Hour long episodes in a Netflix-like 8 episode dosing with a decent budget and a cast with some recognizable faces and not just no-name-this-is-their-start actors.

I do want to interject here that our main lead Nam Yoon Su gives an outstanding performance. He brings the character to life and doesnt hold back allowing our Ko/Go Young to be a fully realized being. He should be proud of his performance, and more than any role he has yet had, shows his acting chops.

I also want to give a shout-out to the deft Jin Ho Eun. He is a true chameleon on screen. He has a sturdy list of shows under his belt and has skillfully shown how to be both a monster to, as in this series, a cute as a button bright eyed engenue. I feel he is overlooked a lot as he has delivered strong performances one after another and again doesnt dissapoint here. I also am happy to see him in a role that actually highlights how attractive he can be.

HOWEVER, it has some flaws and shortcomings which hold it back from being an exceptional experince. Which I'll list in a spoiler tab below. Thus, it's held back from being great to instead being a solid good show. It is worth your time but its real world approach and overall sad and depressing ambiance and general story will keep it from being most peoples favorite or go to series.


BELOW WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS

The flaws:

1) Usage of time.

There are a lot of missteps in how the 8 episodes covers almost 10 years of the main characters life. This is aggrivated by how they break the story into 2 episode mini stories, thus the 8 episodes tell 4 different love/encounters. Making large swaths of time defaulted and inserted inbetween the blackout of 1 story and the fade in of the next.

Since they only have 8 episodes many of the significant relations come and go very quickly and are delt with too clean and neatly. Our main character's relationship with Mi Ae seems little more than a blip on the radar with no lasting significance. Same goes with the loss of his complicated relationship with his mother, who if you add up the time jumps had a very slow march towards death over at least 3 years. The main characters childhood is told in blink or your miss it clips that bring up some serious trauma and issues that are mostly left unexplored or dealt with but seem just to be reasons for his bahavior, sadness, and state-of-mind.

Also, the clothing, accessories, look of the world and characters doesnt change from begining to end...which for a decade of time...especially for hip 20something city boys, is not realistic.

The final 2 episodes are dreamlike in their delivery and feel like a very different show compared to the previous 6 which make it a pain point that this is where we end our journey with these characters. In a weird sexual depression fever dream while having an affair with a married man who takes our lead to various hotels around the world while he recalls the love of a relationship he had ended, as far as i could tell less than a year ago, these episodes are supposed to symbolize the end of this era in our leads life, but they are so whimsical and non-concrete, it comes off more like a mental exercise than true substantial growth and a solid seal to this slice of our pritagonists life. The relationship that plays in our Go Yeoung's mind didnt yet seem to hold the gravity and importance it should as it was still very fresh. Youd expect this type of story after many years have expired and with age you look back and realize that was love and you lost it. The wisdom of old age making you see your regrets. It was further exacerbated by the relationship being mere minutes ago in the viewers mind as we had just spent 2 episodes moving through it begjning to end and seeing many of the scenes already...again a failure of how they use time

2) Stunted emotions and growth.

Possibly it was just the time limit but a lot of the emotions came and went with the wind. Like mentioned above in the time problem, it bleeds over here into a stunted growth and emotional problem. Our main lead has many revelations but changes very little of himself due to them. He deals with major life altering hurtles, death of a lover, death of his mother, suicide, and of course contracting HIV, but all of it comes in a scene and leaves in the next. This could be a societal issue, yet other Korean shows do not operate as such. This could be a character issue, but then the whole point of the show is about the emotional and mental growth of our lead andnwhat he wants and expects out of life which makes this here then gone approach to the story feel misplaced. It may be the fault of the writer of the original work or the writer of this adaption, as in they all have Peter Pan complexes, much like our lead, and thus do not know how to write true explorations of healing, moving through trauma, overcomming, and changing ones life. Instead its shed some tears then run to the bar and get trashed and then never talk about or deal with it again. Its solved, the emotions were let out...

It makes a lot of the issues, which are devstating and hefty, feel skin deep and easily managable. When he is driven to suicide by a toxic closeted self hating lover while trying to mend the broken relationship of his mother dying from cancer who has the same Christian damnation outlook on him...it grows until he tries to check out...but then wakes up saved, gives a thumb heart to his friends, and then moves on never talking about it again. Like well he didnt die...lets go get drunk....and party. And this his how the show handles every truly emotional milestone. As if acknowledging it happened is the same as healing through it.

3) The HIV card....

It is the gay plague after all...even though world wide, it is more prevelant in heterosexuals than homosexuals since the late 90s...but still this is a gay story, we must have HIV.

For Korea, and where they currently are on LGBTQ+ representation and stories, as well as real laws and overall societal view of homosexuals, I can see how having a realistic story that represents the trails of a realistic homesexual and what he faces including the taboo HIV seems bold and groundbreaking....

As a westerner this is 30 to 40 years too late...this whole series was reminiscent of a 90s gay story. From the film Jeffrey to the show Queer as Folk to even the 80s independent film (which too has a splattering of famous male leads) Longtime Companion. Let alone award winning Angels in America...which is currently being performed by famous Korean actors in Seoul as I type this.

At least they didnt make him die in the end.

But Korea has had films, that have dealt with these themes already, and are much older, let alone the western stories that can be watched. It made the story seem archaic and out of place. Made too late.

This is exacerbated by the fact the story would not have changed at all, if the character DIDN'T have HIV. It affects nothing. It is even brought in only half way through as an almost suprise twist. His contracting it is a brief monologue. He tells only 1 person that he even has it, he has no health issues because of it. It does not cause him to loose any relationship or sexual encounter. And it is little more than a plot point. Thus, simply having him NOT have it was an option as its only point is for him to say its with me till i die. Again it feels superficial and a stunted and an unneeded poor use. Thus, just as point 1 bleed into point 2, now point 2 bleeds into this point 3.

Last note on this, the way they introduce the HIV was confusing..as in did he contract it between his mothers dying and meeting this new boy. But then he meets the boy on the night of his mothers funeral. And it has only been 1 year since his last relationship...and then he says hes had it for 5 years...and then your like...did i miss a time jump...there are alot of them...and then you relaize wait...this happened b4 the show started. Hes been HIV positive since the first frame. And it slowly sinks in that you watched him have sex with mutliple partners and carryon two meaningful relationships without telling anyone involved that he is HIV positive. He then has more partners and doesnt tell them...this weirdly, at least for me, makes the HIV have a detrimental effect on the character. This is a serious sexually transmuted disease and he selfishly and irresponsibly goes around and does whatever he wants while hiding it so he wont be stigmatized or ostricized. He pretends....and it kinda makes him a really bad person.

8.0 = B+, 4-Stars. A solid all around entry that will likely not disappoint.

Leggi di Più

Watching a lovable asshole struggle will touch your heart and soul

Let me break it down into some random categories:

BL?
No, not a BL. But it is marketed as one in some places. I totally forgive them :) They should get all the views!

Does it support the gay agenda?
Oh, so very well! So fabulously! Is it a rainbow? It is a DOUBLE RAINBOW! This is so refreshing, even on an international level. But even more so as it is Korean. Everybody and their mother loves a good Korean queer-baiting bromance. But sometimes it is nice to get the real deal. And this is so unapologetically gay. Every time they delivered a line or story aspect where I imagined the backwards protesters lining the pride parades in Seoul (who were watching for sure) to gnash their teeth in anger, I couldn’t help but loudly laugh in blissfulness. And the main actor unapologetically and publicly not giving a shit about the haters is better than any fan-service ever could be. Especially as he absolutely MEANS it. A mainstream Korean actor who plays a role that says – and I quote here – “Fuck me deep!” – oh the joy! At times it felt that they really wanted to tick off every item from the things-that-gays-suffer-from list and I can’t have been the only one thinking “What is it now? Can’t you give this guy a break?” I was surprised we didn’t get assault during an app hookup or a good old gay bashing in the streets. Remember the olden days, when gay characters could only exist as a joke or in depression? I felt that there were traces of the latter in this too (but probably unintentionally).
And I wrote gay agenda and not queer agenda on purpose – diversity is not a forte of this series. This is a story about stereotypical gay guys only (the first lover is a bit of an exception, but he doesn’t get much love). And of course all the actors are super hot. This is Korea after all. Shut up and lust after them!

Acting?
Great. Except the Japanese guy. One thing all the reviews can agree on :)

Creativity?
Hm, not sure. The storytelling was pretty standard for a story that isn’t really plot-driven. And for a story that in its core is about one character only, character development was quite limited. And I had a hard time understanding some of the character’s actions. I feel there was some symbolism that went over my head. And the hints of reality and fiction being mixed were a bit too vague for me. But maybe I’m just too stupid. Or didn’t focus enough.

Should you watch it?
If you liked my review: yes. If you didn’t: yes.

Take-home message: Two men eating pasta in public is gay. Seafood is fine!
Also: Life can be struggly.

Leggi di Più

another not my cup of tea

honestly i can't really remember which series are not my cup of tea but definitely this is one of them. it's not that i don't like it but i just can't really understand the whole story line. what's the point of go young's love life story, i simply don't really understand. it feels like i just follow along his life story without any exact outcome/summary. that's it. again, it's not that i don't like it, i enjoy every go young's love story, but i just feel like it can be elaborated more for the summary or main point of this series. my brain can't interpret that.

honestly it confused me at first because i don't know which one is the main lead beside nam yoo-su. it broke my heart when the second male, the photographer, died. then it confused me again and again because every man seem not to be the main lead, not until that nursing student. but yeah maybe the main point is that go young's love is now gone because of what he did. idk.

maybe will not rewatch it because it's on viki and i don't really have any subscription of platforms. so.. yeah. not my cup tea but still a good one.

Leggi di Più

Never have I wanted to die more than right now

I finished the series 10 minutes ago. I'm a fucking wreck but let's do it.
I don't know what's going on with Korean BLs lately but they've been HITTING for some reason. First, The Eighth Sense, then Love for Love's Sake, and now this one?? Why does everyone want me to kms??? No but seriously, they're doing something that I don't quite see in other countries' BLs, like Thailand's, for example.
I'll say this: I've only cried twice watching a BL. The first, watching Last Twilight, and the second, watching this.

So. What I liked:

- It feels realistic, even though I hope there's no-one on this Earth as unlucky as the poor protagonist. He falls in love, breaks up, gets broken up with, has happy times and hits new lows every now and then. He has sex, he has friends, he has family issues, he can be compassionate but also an asshole. I love it. I love Go Young not as a character, but as a person that might exist in real life. I could see myself being friends with him.
- Surprisingly sex positive, especially for a KBL. Even Mi Ae sleeps around and it isn't treated as something shameful or wrong (though she still gets mocked for it). I also appreciated the representation of someone who has to live with HIV. I don't know if they consulted people who actually have it, but as a viewer it felt quite genuine.
- The characters are all lovely. I was sooo invested following Go Young, I loved his friends despite their limited screentime, and I ADORED Mi Ae while she was onscreen. There's hints at backstories, complex personalities, all interwoven to create very believable characters.
- The main couple was amazing, show-stopping, incredible--- I just don't know what to say. The portrayal of puppy love (or the honeymoon phase) was mesmerizing.
- The existential dread and the feeling of being lost, unwanted, unworthy, etc- was too well done for my taste. It hit too close to home at some points.

BUT--

- The time skips can fuck with your head sometimes, it can be hard to tell how much time has passed between different scenes. And because the series covers quite a lot of time, it can feel like things are going at breakneck speed, especially when Go Young is going through different boyfriends.
- I do agree with other reviewers that, outside of his mental dilemma and shame with HIV, he didn't really suffer any side-effects from having it in his day-to-day life.
- Well you can probably already tell but this series is fucking depressing. Everything that can go wrong in someone's life goes wrong for Go Young, and it's so hard to watch him suffer through it all: loss of relative to cancer, HIV, multiple breakups, lost friendships, toxic exes, dead exes, the whole nine yards. I honestly cried less at my grandfather's funeral (/j).

Still, the series is amazingly well done. And incredibly acted. It's one of those rare occurrences where you forget that you're watching a character, not a real person.
Just, maybe don't watch if you're single, in your early 20s and in the brink of an existential crisis. It doesn't really help, let's just say that.

Leggi di Più

Incredible acting, important series, so so writing

The actors did a great job, I commend to the them cause they brought the characters to life in such an immersive way, even when the writing had some problems in my opinion.

I appreciate the will to talk about the many struggles of a person part of the LGBTQIA+ community, but since the themes are particularly sensitive I felt some issues were rushed into the plot, like Yeong being HIV+. This is such an important question that it deserved more time to breathe into the story.
I feel like the overall length of the series was enough, the issue is how it was spent: some moments and themes needed more time and attention or the writer could’ve chosen to focus on one/two but do a better job. Some others got way too much space and didn’t even add much to the story cause of their repetitiveness (the many club scenes, the multiple scenes in which Yeong was with his mother, she said the same things and he then ran away leaving her with the caregiver…).
The religious guilt linked to the mother and Yeong Su is another sensitive matter and it was barely touched (like the scene where his mum clearly got him locked up in a psych ward when he was a teen?! You can’t just drop that scene and move on like nothing happened!)
I also would’ve loved a happy ending, gotta be honest, and I’m not one for them.
I often hear members of the community saying how refreshing it is to have representation that it is not only tragedy after tragedy when it comes to dramas/series/movies based on their experiences, and I feel like here we leaned way too much into the depiction of the hopelessness of a gay man. As much as it’s the experience of many and it’s important to represent it, I felt that Yeong Su was being the protagonist of a witch hunt more than a coming of age/slice of life to the point of feeling cruel for the sake of it. I feel very torn, cause it’s and important piece of media, but it was executed ok.

Leggi di Più

A Great KBL

I really enjoyed watching the series 💯. The series teaches the important of loving oneself properly and how friendship is a very integral part of life. A very realistic ending and a beautiful story but there were so many things I couldn’t understand.
Why was his best friend not aware he had Kylie , where was she when he lost his mother and when he almost lost his life, she literally called him to hangout after not long after he lost his mother and we didn’t see her at the funeral . I didn’t really get his story with Habibi too . His friends deserved to know what he had been dealing with at least and they didn’t preach safe sex and how he was having relations with people while having Kylie , I feel like that should have been touched as well. But apart from that I loved it

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Absence of Acceptance 대도시의 사랑법

From the very first scene, you know this show isn't here to play it safe. It hits hard and it tackles the kind of deep topics a lot of people avoid. Go Yeong's story feels painfully real, he is drowning under the expectations of his family, dealing with the constant judgment from society and on top of that struggling with the kind of love that consumes you but might never be enough. And there is also his mom's denial of his sexuality which isn't just a personal issue it's also showing what so many families go through. They love their kids but can't reconcile that love with the traditions they have been brought up to believe. The show doesn't sugarcoat this and it's not here to hand out easy answers. It is messy and uncomfortable, the way it is when you are queer in a world where acceptance is still trying to catch up.

And unlike with other shows, Go Yeong's growth isn't that epiphany that comes out of the blue and then suddenly everything just falls in place. It is slow and it is frustrating at times. The pressure of fitting into the mold wanted by society and family does not just disappear and the show keeps the tension alive. It's his story but at the same time it says something many people are feeling right now....the struggle of trying to figure out where you fit when the world is constantly shifting and when who you are is in direct conflict with who everyone expects you to be. And the beauty of it all is in the balance which is great because the show manages to be introspective and deep without tipping into melodrama and there are still these little moments of humor that remind you that even in the darkest times there is still room for joy.

Mi Ae is another key piece of this puzzle. She is proof of how important chosen family is especially in LGBTQ+ narratives. In a country like Korea where traditional family values are so embedded in the culture, acceptance doesn't always come from your biological family. Mi Ae and Go Yeong's relationship is showing that the people who really have your back aren't always the ones you share DNA with, they are the ones who choose to walk alongside you through the mess and the beauty of it all.

I think this show is a gutpunch in the best way possible. Messy love, identity and family are all told so delicately. I also really like how real these characters are: the struggles are real and it doesn't shy away from hard truths with respect to what being queer entails. Heartbreaking at times, hopeful at others and yet another reminder that love in all forms leaves its mark on you, even when the happy ending isn't there. I am STILL not over it!

---

Three men, one love.

Kim Nam-gyu : He represents the kind of love that Go Yeong wasn not prepared to face, it was intense, genuine and emotionally demanding. He is everything Go Yeong might have needed but wasn’t ready to reciprocate. Nam-gyu is the "what if" love, the one who could have been a transformative presence in Go Yeong’s life but circumstances, timing and Go Yeong's own hesitations held them back from ever fully realizing that potential. He is the person who stood on the edge of becoming something more, someone who could have brought stability but it never quite happened.

Youngso: He is the love that Go Yeong was finally ready for but the other one wasn’t prepared to meet him at the same place. Unlike the other relationships of his past, with Young-so, Go Yeong had reached a point of emotional maturity where he was willing to invest, to open up and to fully commit. He saw in Young-so the potential for something lasting, something real. But did not get the love he needed in return.

Gyu-ho: His true first love ♡ the one who he genuinely loved and who wholeheartedly loved him in return. There was no pretense in this, Gyu-ho was the love that Go Yeong needed, someone who truly saw him, accepted him and loved him for who he was. I think Yeong found a security that had been missing in his other relationships. It was a love built on understanding and care. He is the one who made him feel safe, seen, and wanted in a way no one else had. He was the anchor Go Yeong needed, the one who grounded him in a world that often felt unstable.

Gyu-ho was that person, the one who embodied everything Go Yeong had been searching for and at last found.

His only Wish.

---

On that note, can we just take a moment to appreciate the incredible talent of the actors in this show? they are absolute STARS and they completely brought these characters to life in a way that left me SHOOK! Go Yeong is portrayed so sensible and I am just in awe of how the actor brought all those emotions out. You can literally see the struggles in his eyes, he perfectly shows us the heartache and longing that makes you root for him.

One last thing: as someone who has read the novel, I can confidently say they absolutely nailed it with this adaptation! they managed to keep the essence of the story intact while adding just the right amount of creativity to the characters and their struggles. You can tell the creators really understood the source material and respected the things that make it so impactful.

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WE COULD HAVE BEEN BEAUTIFUL

"In the heart of Seoul’s electric hum,
Where towers scrape the sky, and dreams collide,
I found you, a fleeting ghost in the throng,
A silhouette dancing in the neon glow. "

I'M CRYING WHILE WRITING THIS

I felt this, entirely, every bit of it, laughter at its sincerest, a symphony of unspoken hopes, echoing through the alleyways of solitude, two men wear their hearts like a fragile charm, amidst the shadows, their secrets intertwined. It is very hurtful, very sickening but it is the true testament of the life of every gay man with HIV. This is beyond a lovestory, it is a tragedy and if you can not handle pain it is going to break you because it is one of those shows that will teach you that you can't always have everything that you want.

Now of course before I forget to mention just about how we have the best of friends, how fun and sadsy these guys dance to T-ARA'S SEXY LOVE. A female roomie who is an entire package of a Roomie you would want that you can't help but feel jealous. If i am not counting the shitty hookups and weird but then immediately projected failed relationships, his awful taste in men, the friendship is golden from start to finish. I mean its not like gay friends like that are easy to find and that part of the story deserves respect.

I am in love with the cast, they did pull it off, with perhaps the deepest understanding of their characters, you can feel the frantic pursuit of love in a very vast city, the characters are but small insignificant people, but they make themselves matter, every emotion gets deeply etched, once again if you are after depression you are on the right track.

Damn, who wrote the bloody script, I can't forget that one too, every word feels deep enough to cut the soul and you feel it in your marrow and ask yourself how is it that fate could be as heartless, but luckily enough they told no lies at all, this is what has always been happening in a patriarchal society like Korea where for gay men survival can be a living hell.

They shouldn't lie to you, this isn't fiction, this story is the true awfulness of a country like Korea to gay people. But will you love the story? Yes. Everything about this series has been executed to perfection, from the sombre scenes, the cruel heartbreaks, the longing of all characters for a place to call a loving home, rejection from the family and persecution of the world, its all in here and it is enough.

Definitely one of the best Korean BLS of all time, I'd trade a lifetime for it, even Netflix after all life isn't just rainbows and butterflies and if you feel you can not take in too much tragedy, don't bother otherwise, watch at your own risk

Leggi di Più

Frequently Asked Questions: A Partial Guide to "Love In The Big City"

Content Warning: Mild sardonic humour.

I. THE BASICS.

Should I watch this show?

Absolutely.

Why?

Because it is perhaps the best Korean series I have seen under the BL/LGBT rubric. 



Really? But you hate everything!
I know!

What’s so good about the show?
The cast and the acting are both superb, the cinematography is very good, and the production commendable. The directors (especially of the later episodes) did a great job creating and sustaining specific moods within which the drama plays out. But, above all, I just fell in love with the story, and all the people, flawed as they are, in it. I felt as if I had entered a whole, new, fully realised world, which I was loth to leave. It was funny, messy, enjoyable, beautiful, quietly moving, and at times, devastating.

What’s middling about it?

The script. When it’s good, it’s very good. When it’s bad, you'll roll your eyes or cringe. Sometimes, you're left with more questions than answers.

And what’s bad?
That depends on what you want out of the show. If you’re expecting a traditional BL, you’ll be disappointed. If you're looking for social commentary on homophobia in Korea, you'll be disappointed. If you’re looking for likeable characters, a protagonist you can root for, or for the evolving presence of another character besides the protagonist, you’ll also be disappointed.

How would you characterise this show then?
Think of "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man", but make it gay and less obnoxious. The story is about Ko Yeong, and Ko Yeong alone. It is to his life that the series is devoted. Other people will merely come and go. As they do in the solipsistic theatre in each of our lives.

Does it have a happy ending?
I will not dignify that with a response.*


II. PLOT & CHARACTERS.

What is the plot of the show?
It really doesn't have one. You just follow the life of Ko, and see the world through his perspective, which, admittedly, is limited, self-serving and sometimes suffocating. However, the overarching theme is love, and how, in contrast to what Pope Ru Paul II says, you can't really love yourself until you have dared to love someone else.

Can you say more?
Well, without spoiling too much, I think the show is about how we don't always recognise love when we have it, nor understand it when we profess it, nor, worst of all, know how to treasure it until we lose it.

Sounds painful.
It's love!

Who is Ko Yeong, then?
He's a writer, and is obviously modelled on Sang Young Park, the person who wrote the novel on which this is based. I won't say anything more than that. You should discover his character on your own.

Oh no, he's unlikeable, isn't he?
Since when did people start insisting that all fictional characters must be admirable or paragons of moral purity? He's human, and yes, humans are often insufferable.

Alright, alright. What about the other characters?
Yeong has a good group of friends, a girl friend from college with whom he lives for a while, lovers who come and go, and then there is... no, I don't want to spoil it. There's also his mum and dad, though the latter has only a marginal presence, and is very thinly sketched.

How well-drawn are the other characters?
Well, you will have to first accept that most characters aren't present throughout the show. They do drop off. If you accept that -- and I'm not saying you should -- I think they are very well-drawn. The girl friend and Yeong's mother are my favourites. The Japanese character at the end is the worst-written. But the actors are, with one or two exceptions, brilliant, and bring their subjects vividly to life.


III. THE SCRIPT & ACTING.

Is the writing any good?
Yes, and no. There is a lot to like about it. It is suffused with humour and charm -- a rare virtue in this world -- and pregnant with pathos. But it is uneven. Some episodes are clearly better than others.

Such as?
Again, I don't want to spoil too much. But there is an episode involving a break-up scene in a pasta restaurant. Let's just say, it was perfect. The note on which the episode ends might seem irredeemably cheesy, and might have been better written, but I thought it was the right note on which to end it. Not least because, otherwise, homophobia would have won the day. I will also say that the writing in Ep. 6 was perhaps the best in the series, and the best in any Korean TV show I have seen -- which, outside the BL world, is admittedly not a lot. Obviously, Park loves Madame Bovary, the references and parallel to which, for those who have read it, will be obvious.

When is the writing bad?
It mainly comes down to two things: pacing, and on-the-nose sentimentality. Evidently, squeezing a 200-page novel into an 8-part series is hard, but the script could have nevertheless been sharper, and the timing better spent. There are omissions that make little sense, and inclusions that are baffling. The other problem is its propensity to lapse into sentimentality when it is not sure that the audience will feel the way it wants them to feel. This leads to narrative overcompensation, and therefore to some of the sappiest moments in the show. Having said that, there is another plausible explanation for this sappiness and for some of the more overt fairy tale moments. (Emphasis on the ‘fairy’.)

What is it?
This is a bit of a spoiler. But Yeong, in the end, strongly implies that the story we have seen is not real, but a fictionalised version of his life that he has written for himself. He is attempting to write and rewrite story of his past loves — which is symbolised in the lantern scene — and yet (or therefore) fails to understand it. The fairy tale moments are a symbol of that want. This is, of course, a generous interpretation on my part. But I think it is justified.

I have to ask, this being a Korean production, do the men in the show at least kiss?
Oh, they do so much more than that!

Glory Hallelujah! So the actors don't hold back?
No! The cast is quite amazing. (Well, except the Japanese cast member. He should have been fired.) And the lead is a tremendous actor, and, from what I gather, a very good person.

Is this what happens when straight people are not put in charge of a show?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.*


IV. THE ISSUES.

I presume the show has something to say about what it's like to be gay in Korea and all that?
It sure does.

And?
Well, it is not a PSA about homophobia in Korea, and thank heavens for that. The story does touch upon all the issues, but by allusion and ellipsis, and not, as lesser shows do, in the service of edification or worse, as a plot device.

So, what does come up?
Christianity, of course, and the homophobia it sows. (Somebody should put up a poster somewhere: CHRISTIANITY. RUINING YOUR SEX LIFE FOR 2000 YEARS!) Conversion therapy. Internalised homophobia. HIV. PrEP.

Does it deal with these issues well?
Urgh.* Why should the onus of that be on the show? Or on any work of art? But, to answer your question, for the most part, yes. Yeong has never had trouble accepting himself, and wants to be only himself. (Though in the first episode or two, that does not always appear to be the case.) And HIV is not a death sentence in the show, and it is clear that, when it was filmed/written, Thailand was farther ahead on PEP/PrEP than Korea. (Japan doesn't offer PrEP to this day!) These are all a normal part of what it means to be a sexually active gay person today, and it is to the show's credit that it portrays it as such, and not as an onerous check-list to tick off. Such things come up organically, and don't feel forced. There is one issue, however, that I should perhaps warn you about, which is my one area of moral uncertainty about the show.

Which is?
The question of when and how to tell a potential sexual partner you have HIV. It was once unquestionable that you had to tell all potential partners. But with PrEP and PEP, as well as the medical certainty that Undetectable=Untransmittable, these things are no longer quite so clear cut, not least when the stigma of disclosing your HIV status remains as strong as ever. Yeong says in the show that he has only told one partner (which, on its face, is quite unbelievable). But that makes his behaviour with other partners morally dubious, unless we know that he's undetectable, which he does seem to be. (Korea's public health system does pay for HIV medication.) Then why not say so, especially when it could have been done in two lines of dialogue or less? It would have also added to the depth of Yeong's character, by adding more substance to his limitations as a human being. This, I think, *is* an instance of bad writing.


V. LIFE LESSONS

Does the show offer any pearls of wisdom for young gay (or bi) men?
Yes, plenty!

Such as?
1. Don't go out with a philosopher. Ever.
2. Don't date Christians. Or rather, practising Christians of the born-again, evangelical sort.
3. If you're going to go to bed with a guy on the DL, don't fall in love with him. To quote a wise woman: Use him, abuse him, lose him.
4. If a guy asks you to hide who you are in public, or in front of other people, run.
5. If it seems like you're dating one prick after another, or one closet-case after another, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Maybe it's you, Linda!
6. Keep a good group of friends around you who understand you.
7. Learn about PEP, PrEP, U=U, STDs, and when in doubt, always use a condom.
8. If you are lucky enough to find a man with whom you can be yourself, don't ever let him go.
9. Loving another person is perhaps the hardest thing in the world to do. And for all its highs, rushes, longings, and satisfactions, it also has its long periods of languor, stupor, pain, and disappointment. Don't confuse these for signs of failure and give up.
10. There is a reason we have appropriated the word 'gay' for ourselves. We are lovely, funny, messy, sexy, gorgeous, insane creatures. Embrace it!


VI. LAST WORDS

It sounds as if, even though you like the show a great deal, you do have a few reservations about it. Why do you then praise it so, and why the high rating?
I don't usually go into shows with any set expectations. I go in with a spirit of receptiveness, to see what the work has to offer. In most BLs I come across here, what I see is a straight woman's fantasy of two men being in love, where, if you replace the submissive person with a woman, you'd barely notice the difference from a run-of-the Mills & Boons romance.

I see what you did there.
Haha, yes. Nothing wrong with that, of course. Pleasure is pleasure. But it does not resonate with me. (I also find it deeply troubling when shows go out of their way to avoid the word 'gay', or avoid depictions of gay intimacy -- which decision, alas, wins much plaudits among the viewership here.) On the other hand, films that are tagged with the LGBT label are expected to focus too heavily on the pain of coming out, societal homophobia, bullying, suicides, and persecution, which, of course, is vital and important. But something gets lost in the middle between these two extremes of straight-washed fantasy and hideous reality. This show exists in that in-between space, and that's what appealed to me the most. Love mixed with hatred, levity with weight, humour with sorrow, fantasy with reality, charm with severity, isolation within crowds, and pockets of tolerance within a hostile city. The show is not quite realistic, but it is *real*. It is a world I can recognise as being true, as being faithful to life. And it is not often I can say that.

*The asterisk indicates an ironic or sardonic comment, not to be taken literally. I wish I didn't have to point this out. But given that some people are constitutionally devoid of a sense of humour (see below, and on the comments section of the show), I thought it better to be safe. Sigh.

Reader's Digest:
DO SAY: Monsieur Yeong, c'est moi!
DON'T SAY: Let us be Seoul Mates

Leggi di Più

The best 400 minutes in my life.

This was raw, pure, and true to the core.
Like I was shattered into many pieces, put back together, and shattered again.
I felt all emotions of the universe.

The writing is characterized by its lyrical quality and raw honesty. The narrative is not linear; it meanders through various episodes of life, to experience emotional highs and lows intimately.

It is a heartfelt exploration of what it means to love and be loved in a society that often imposes rigid boundaries on personal identity. A reflection on resilience, vulnerability, and the enduring quest for connection in an ever-complex world.

Yes, finding love in a big city is very hard but one thing is for sure it was Love.

Leggi di Più