Mega Crocodile (2019)

Mega Crocodile’s producers must have crunched the numbers on their calcugators and decided to utilize the most over-used stereotypes in monster movie history for this story about a rescue attempt on an island covered in enormous crocodiles. When the fearsome crocs weren’t terrifying the search party, the creepy crawly inhabitants scurrying about dug in to make for gruesome sightseeing experiences.

After young biologist Zi Hao and his boat used for scientific research go missing near Hell Island, his sister Ming Zhu asked Luo Han for help rescuing him. Luo, an alcoholic with a painful past was the only person to have ever escaped the island alive. A noxious place with 3000 crocodiles and plagued with poisonous gas, the drunk basically responded that one does not simply walk into Hell Island. As all heroes do, he refused her then immediately sobered up and agreed to the perilous mission. Luo, headstrong Ming, money guy/comic relief Pan, and three aggressive foreign bodyguards jumped out of an airplane sans parachutes and began their deadly island adventure. They encountered body parts, deadly insects and plants. Oh, and the mother of all crocs, a ginormous creature with infrared vision.

The CGI alternated between good and poor, much as the acting did. Li Guang Bin managed to pull off the world-weary hero with a crossbow look, although I never understood why he used it when machine guns had no effect on the great toothy beast. I admit to being grossed out about the two different kinds of burrowing bugs the team came into contact with. The other squeamish moments were the finding of dismembered body parts lying about on a regular basis

The story itself was obvious from the opening shot, not that these kinds of movies innovate much. It’s all in the execution and this one just felt like a low-grade B movie which wasn’t very fun or terrifying. I wrestled with how to rate a movie about a bus-sized crocodile. Overall Mega Crocodile wasn’t jawsome, but it didn’t completely bite either.

10/26/23

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