Threesome (2014)

The most nonsensical ending to a film ever made!

Okay, I am sure there's been worse endings in cinema history, but bear with me for a little because I'm overcome with emotion right now.

STORY:
It seemed like the writer changed their mind ten seconds before submitting the final script to the producers because what was a bittersweet romcom with some risqué humor thrown in the mix turned into a flaming hot pile of garbage that was loaded into a bicycle that was on fire and that bicycle didn't have any wheels on it. If you think that sounds ridiculous, I invite you to watch the final ten minutes of this film. It's like every character got amnesia or a personality change and went batshit crazy. I don't mind the tragedy of this, in fact, I rather enjoy watching tragedies and I kinda knew the ending going into the actual film itself. It's the way that ending came about, stupidly and insultingly to the audience, as if they didn't care about the past hour and forty minutes we had to sit through to reach that point.

I decided to look past every single problematic thing happening in this film (the ML getting raped by someone, being chill about it, and then saying to the FL he can sleep with anyone he wants but he only loves her) but I'll never look past the horrible ending! I want to meet the writer of this film and shake some sense into them, and also demand my two hours back because I am full of regrets, and mad about it!

ACTING:
Decent performances across the board. I appreciate New for making me hate his guts when he was the reason I started watching this film, ha, the irony. I'm also on the lookout for our ghost boy who won me over with his puppy dog eyes, despite that oh so distracting unibrow. Supporting cast all played their parts well, especially the ACTUAL threesome, those were some cute men, and I'd rather have seen this movie revolve around those three.

MUSIC:
Surprisingly enjoyable, and incredibly spot on with the lyrics in every single scene. It seems like more care went into the music placement and selection than it did into the actual writing of the film.

REWATCH:
I wouldn't rewatch this film if someone paid me a billion dollars to see it again! Okayyyy, maybe for a billion dollars.

OVERALL:
Watch this if you don't have a heart, or are against the interspecies romance trope, you'll be satisfied. Don't watch this if you're looking for something light and sweet to pass the time, you'll get infuriated beyond measure. I have no idea how or why this film got greenlit. It's absolutely trash.

PS. If you think my rating is rather lenient for how harsh my review is, it's the average rating of all the components that made up the film.

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