Ayan shined brighter than the Sun in this episode

This series is getting more intriguing each episode. I think that it has become obvious by now that FirstKhao’s chemistry is hot and makes our hearts flutter, so I will not comment on this. I will just say that I appreciate that this series is doing the enemies-to-lovers trope justice by not skipping any of the stages of this trope.

I am astonished by Ayan’s complexity. For me, he is easily one of the best written characters in BL ever. To watch his facade slowly break and his true self – kind, vulnerable, broken – reveal itself was fascinating. Maybe it is because I experienced similar oppression in high school when I dared to go against the system and because I also lost people I love that Ayan and his struggles speak volumes to me, but I do not remember when I was last so in love with a fictional character. Kudos to Khao and the scriptwriters. Magical.

Although this was a relatively light-hearted episode, it brought tears to my eyes. This series hits disturbingly close to home for me.
I graduated from my country’s most prestigious high school this year. The teachers there were more or less copies of those in these series in terms of how they treated us students. Aunt Waree eerily reminds me of my Math teacher – she treated me the same way Waree treats Ayan. In junior year of high school, I decided to go against the system. I will not get into details, but overall, I fought for my freedom of choice. I won. At what cost, though? The teachers did to me what they were doing to Ayan in this episode. They targeted me and lowered my grades on purpose so that eventually I would not have as high a GPA as I needed for the prestigious universities that I was applying to. Furthermore, my class teacher told my classmates while I was absent that I disliked them, which was a complete lie. Episode four does not explore this in that much detail, but believe me, Ayan is going through Hell. I know it because I have been there.
I also know the pain of grieving for a beloved person who is not with you anymore. I know how it feels to tell someone “He is dead” and smile and brush it off when they say that they are sorry. I know what it is like to cry alone in bed and put on a stoic facade in front of close ones who are also grieving and in front of those who want to see you break. Ayan is gorgeous in his inner strength and kindness. He is a character that touches and inspires – a rare gem.

Overall, episode four was brilliant. I cannot wait for next week!

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